I'm not a pessimistic person.  Really.  I'm more positive and forward-thinking than most people I know.  But I really believe somebody has put a curse on my family.  Things have just gotten worse and worse (as in, now some people's lives are at risk) up until this point, and who knows what is going to happen next.  I can't do anything for myself because everything else is up in the air.  This is just.. bad.  I don't know what to think anymore.  I'm kind of numb to bad news.
I should channel this into something creative before it turns into rage and I end up doing something I regret because I've been burying all my fears for too long or some crap.  But I'm pretty level-headed, so I think I'll get out of this ok.  What I cannot stand, or bear to watch, is my dad suffering.  I can't even leave his side right now.  I wish I could go to work with him just so I could protect him.  I haven't gone out with my friends in over a week now just because I feel the need to be home with him in all of my spare time.
Things will change after this current ordeal.  Still haven't gotten any payment on my medical claim from the car accident.  Talk about slackers, liars and cheats = Horace Mann insurance.


I did, however, get my bachelor's degree.  It's sitting on my shelf collecting dust while I'm working part time and applying for countless jobs.  I don't even remember what jobs I have applied for anymore.  It's just become a mindless task.. filling out online applications, uploading my resume, answering some survey questions.  I'm a pro at this by now.  Too bad there are no jobs for filling out job applications.  Or are there?  *lightbulb*

Oh well.