I found the proper jogging-route by the river.  I went the wrong way last time and ended up running by a bunch of car-shops and creepy mechanics looking at me.  This way is far less populated and it's between the river and a low-traffic road so I don't have to worry about weirdos.  Plus, it's gorgeous.  The weather has been really perfect for running lately.
I used to really hate running,  but I haven't done it in about two weeks and I've really been missing it.  I guess it grows on you.  An acquired taste of fitness!

Lately I can see two paths for everything.  I really don't know which way to go anymore.  I can be this kind of person, or that kind.  Either one might help me or hurt me, and I can't choose, so I just stay in a safe zone and get nowhere.
I don't know if I should be worrying about what other people think, or if I should just worry about what makes me happy and not care about others.  Problem is, if I do that, I innately become such a recluse that I end up really lonely and depressed.  So I feel like I really should or need to be more social, but when I do that, I become.. well, dumber.  I can't explain why.  I'm just not meeting the right kinds of people I guess.

어떻게?????

"The heart glows, and a secret unrest gnaws at the roots of our being. Modern man or woman lives with a spiritual emptiness that was once easily filled by religion or mythology."

 

Need to meditate.

Here I am in Rotterdam again.
It was a great weekend.  Went to Lund, Sweden to celebrate Lars' cousin's wedding.  It was lovely, in this church that is probably twice as old as my native country.  Quite amazing.  Everybody was saying there was too much "God" mentioned by the priest though.. which was a bit awkward for me.  I thought it was wonderful.  What's the point in marriage without God anyway?  That's.. kind of how it originated.  Otherwise they should have just gone to town-hall and signed the papers.  But whatever, everybody was so nice and I love being around them.  Lars's brothers are really really wonderful.  I feel like they're my brothers too, in a way.  Basically, I love Sweden and I wish we could live there.

So anyway, we're back in Rotterdam and I've unpacked and set up  my PC.  It turns on finally, and runs alright, but a lot of the cooling paste disappeared when the pcu fell out of the mobo, so it overheats now.  Gonna have to run to the store tomorrow and pick up some more of that.  I've got to make a list actually..
Cooling paste, stuff for dinner, socks.  I also have to try and return this pair of jeans I bought from Topshop.  I don't know if they can take them back since I bought them in another country, but it's worth a shot if I can get my $75 back.  I won't be too disappointed if they can't though.. because they're REALLY nice jeans.  So soft!

I hope I'll be able to get used to this city soon.  I really need to get a map of the area so I won't get lost.  All the streets in the Netherlands are severely disorganized.  They just go too and fro, and I've got no clue how people can manage the sidewalks, streets and bicycle lanes all at once.  It's gonna take a lot of getting used to.  Then again, I was able to survive in Amsterdam.

Gonna try and get back to sleep now.