I think I'm starting to go crazy. I definitely have some kind of paranoia disorder. I randomly keep getting these horrendous ideas about people or myself dying or how insignificant everything about life is and it scares the crap out of me. I think I need to talk to a therapist. I feel so alone and afraid of everything. I don't know what caused this. It just started happening badly over the past week. I have always had some slight paranoid thoughts in the past now and then, but this has gotten very bad lately. I can't even look at myself in the mirror without thinking something horrific. I hope this goes away.. I need to not be alone anymore.. I need to keep busy to get my mind off of it. Watching the news doesn't help.. all reporters talk about is death and murder and bombings or war. It's never going to end.. how can they expect every person in the world to not be selfish or greedy and advocate world peace? It just can't stop. I wish I had some better channels that didn't mention death or anything frightening.

It rained last night, the flowers are lovely today.