It's been 2 weeks in Sweden now.  I'm kind of wanting to go back to Rotterdam.  I'm pretty bored here, and Lars, as usual, doesn't try to think of anything to do.  It's a bit frustrating.

So I'm coming back to Chicago on the 17th.  I keep having dreams I'm already back there, and I absolutely hate every one of them.  I hate the idea of going home.  My emotionally-unstable mother is going to drive me nuts.  I hope I can find a job asap that will allow me to move out of that house.  I really can't be around my parents all the time.

I'm also worried because I don't have enough money for anything anymore.  It's stressful, but I know there's a way around everything, so I'm not too concerned.

I'll start applying for more jobs next week.  I already applied for a few but the filled the positions before I was able to go in for an interview, which is understandable.

I'm wondering lately about having a dream.  I don't have any long-term goal or dream.  I just want every day to be good-natured, safe and full of love.  That doesn't help much when you have to think about a career path, or buying a house or having babies down the line.  I can think of a TON of things I'd love to do, or be when I'm older, but I really have no idea which one to pick.  Because you have to pick just one and stick with it, otherwise you won't become proficient in anything.

I also feel like I'm done with asking other people about religion.  I set out to learn about the big 3 on my own, without peoples' influence, and I've already let that happen to a great extent.  I don't want culture to have any effect on what the actual religion is about.  So when I get home, I'm going to read the bible and take it at face value.