I would really like to take a shower right now but it's broken. I feel disgusting because I haven't showered since Wednesday. Oh well, I guess this gives me an opportunity to stop caring about being shiny and clean like society demands. Harhar.
Actually I think I'm just going to end up washing my hair in the sink, and possibly just pouring water over myself in the bathtub because I can't stand being dirty.
I am so excited about BoA expanding to the US. I know she's going to get a lot of criticism from ignorant people making fun of her and calling her Chinese and stuff (She's actually Korean), but I will remain her fan no matter what! She has broken down so many barriers in the entertainment industry in Asia... she was the first Korean singer to make it big in Japan (they usually hate Koreans)... and since then she's always remained one of the top ten biggest entertainers since. She's so talented and.. agh, I just can't wait for everyone else to see how amazing this girl is. She will make you a fan for life.. she never stops working hard or being classy and beautiful. She's a great role model.
We've been watching Battlestar Galactica since we ran out of episodes of American Dad and Family Guy to rewatch. BSG is really cool.. I wasn't sure about it from the first two episodes but it's getting to be pretty amazing. It plays on all your emotions.. it makes you so angry, and it even makes you confused at your own feelings, because of all the moral stuff going on. There are people who are obviously good or bad, but sometimes you end up hating the good guys and loving the bad guys.. it's just really awesome.
I can't wait to see the third season of Heroes. I just hope it doesn't suck as bad as the second season.. but I don't think it will because (from what I heard) the writer strike is over.
My carpal tunnel syndrome has been bothering me lately... probably because the weather is getting cold. I need to stop typing now, my hands are getting painfully stiff.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
weird
We just took a three hour nap.. I want to remember these dreams.
The first third I dreamt I was on a plane home. Then I got this mysterious phone call from *someone* with an *English accent*. I kept asking who it was, but I started to suspect it was this old friend of mine. Then they started speaking normally, and I thought, instead, it was this other person so I hung up on them or something. Somehow the call ended. Then I came home and Dazzle, two other people and I were walking along the pathway to my old elementary school. It's a big open fielded area and it was beautiful outside. Dazzle and I started to argue with the two others. Then we saw this huge storm brewing in the distance (reoccuring)so we were trying to get our stuff together in time to go home. It turned out we had these horses with us, so I started riding home (also reoccuring) and it was a great horse.. I started thinking 'man I always have dreams about riding horses but now it's real! I'm back on a horse!'.. but it's never real. So then I had to jump the horse over all these fences to get to my backyard but someone had built like.. a maze back there so we got stuck and then something started chasing us and I woke up.
The second time I fell asleep.. oh no I'm starting to lose it.. ok pretty much I ended up back at ISU for some convention or something , but it looked more like this other time I dreamt about UofI. ok I completely lost it, no idea anymore.
So I woke up and fell asleep again... this time I was at home, beautiful weather outside.. so then I went into the garage with my dad and he kept telling me to watch out because there was a warewolf around. Then we saw it.. and it kind looked like the horned beast from Where the Wild Things Are, only less fat and it was black and white. It was sitting in my neighbors front lawn (which is like a hill, kind of) and it saw me and Dad so we tried to run inside but it stopped. Then I realized it was a *baby* warewolf and was kind of cute, so I ran out to play with it and at first it was trying to attack me.. kind of like a puppy does.. but instead of defending myself I took this comb and starting grooming it every time it got near, which I guess felt good to it, because eventually it laid down and let me comb its fur. Then it turned and it was HUGE again and for some reason it turned into a cow and I told my dad I wanted to breed our own cows so we weren't eating the diseased meat from slaughterhouses.
Weird stuff.
American Dad is one of the most hilarious cartoons ever. No other cartoon or tv show is as funny as the stuff Seth McFarlane creates. That man is a genius. Also, the Simpsons is not funny at ALL. Every time I watch it, I just sit there and wait for it to do something entertaining.. but it just lies there. Figuratively.
I miss being home. When I was there 3 weeks ago, it was the most beautiful weather of my life. Maybe it's been that nice before when I was there, but I never appreciated it so much. I love Chicago, I love being American, I love my friends and family so much it hurts. I just can't wait to come home from Ireland. This country sucks.
List of things I realized I need to survive:
Fresh fruit (the fruit here is gross.. all imported crap)
Silk Very Vanilla Soymilk
Proper-sized stuff.. everything you buy here is half the size and twice the price
Decent tasting tap water
Caffeine free coke and Mountain Dew (don't have it here)
Honey Bunches of Oats and other good cereals (They have really weird crap instead)
My brain is still kind of fuzzy so I can't think of much else now but I'll add more later
The first third I dreamt I was on a plane home. Then I got this mysterious phone call from *someone* with an *English accent*. I kept asking who it was, but I started to suspect it was this old friend of mine. Then they started speaking normally, and I thought, instead, it was this other person so I hung up on them or something. Somehow the call ended. Then I came home and Dazzle, two other people and I were walking along the pathway to my old elementary school. It's a big open fielded area and it was beautiful outside. Dazzle and I started to argue with the two others. Then we saw this huge storm brewing in the distance (reoccuring)so we were trying to get our stuff together in time to go home. It turned out we had these horses with us, so I started riding home (also reoccuring) and it was a great horse.. I started thinking 'man I always have dreams about riding horses but now it's real! I'm back on a horse!'.. but it's never real. So then I had to jump the horse over all these fences to get to my backyard but someone had built like.. a maze back there so we got stuck and then something started chasing us and I woke up.
The second time I fell asleep.. oh no I'm starting to lose it.. ok pretty much I ended up back at ISU for some convention or something , but it looked more like this other time I dreamt about UofI. ok I completely lost it, no idea anymore.
So I woke up and fell asleep again... this time I was at home, beautiful weather outside.. so then I went into the garage with my dad and he kept telling me to watch out because there was a warewolf around. Then we saw it.. and it kind looked like the horned beast from Where the Wild Things Are, only less fat and it was black and white. It was sitting in my neighbors front lawn (which is like a hill, kind of) and it saw me and Dad so we tried to run inside but it stopped. Then I realized it was a *baby* warewolf and was kind of cute, so I ran out to play with it and at first it was trying to attack me.. kind of like a puppy does.. but instead of defending myself I took this comb and starting grooming it every time it got near, which I guess felt good to it, because eventually it laid down and let me comb its fur. Then it turned and it was HUGE again and for some reason it turned into a cow and I told my dad I wanted to breed our own cows so we weren't eating the diseased meat from slaughterhouses.
Weird stuff.
American Dad is one of the most hilarious cartoons ever. No other cartoon or tv show is as funny as the stuff Seth McFarlane creates. That man is a genius. Also, the Simpsons is not funny at ALL. Every time I watch it, I just sit there and wait for it to do something entertaining.. but it just lies there. Figuratively.
I miss being home. When I was there 3 weeks ago, it was the most beautiful weather of my life. Maybe it's been that nice before when I was there, but I never appreciated it so much. I love Chicago, I love being American, I love my friends and family so much it hurts. I just can't wait to come home from Ireland. This country sucks.
List of things I realized I need to survive:
Fresh fruit (the fruit here is gross.. all imported crap)
Silk Very Vanilla Soymilk
Proper-sized stuff.. everything you buy here is half the size and twice the price
Decent tasting tap water
Caffeine free coke and Mountain Dew (don't have it here)
Honey Bunches of Oats and other good cereals (They have really weird crap instead)
My brain is still kind of fuzzy so I can't think of much else now but I'll add more later
Thursday, September 18, 2008
the City and my Soul disagree
I can't say now, where I'm gonna go
But when I figure it out, you'll be the first to know
Do you understand that it's out of these hands of mine?
Despite our plans, I've got to draw the line
Stroke 9 - California
Wow these words describe my life right now.. it's like what I'm always saying to my parents.
I spent most of the day sorting the many hundreds of coins that have been sitting on the desk here into bags.. I can't stand messes anymore. I have seriously developed an OCD. I find myself dropping anything I'm doing to straighten things, put things back where they should be or just sorting them, like these coins. It started that I was just going to move the laptop a bit, and then I saw them and blacked out for 30 mins and the next thing I knew was they were all nice and neatly put into separate bags and the table was clean.
How boring does a life have to be that things like this become a habit? I spent 30 mins sorting coins without even thinking about it.. I could have spent those 30 minutes doing something constructive.. helping somebody, volunteering, walking around outside, gardening.. I feel like I'm trapped. I can't do things that I want to.. that would help the rest of the world or my family or whatever, because well.. I just can't. I don't have money, I'm not in school right now, and I'm not allowed to work in this country. And I do really want to work.. but I can't do the jobs I want without a degree, which is still going to take a year or two to complete. It REALLY sucks. These feel like wasted years of my life, which is incredibly depressing. I also don't want to start to believe that I need to be in school or working to have a fulfilling life.. I mean, I enjoy just relaxing and being safe at home, doing things I like to like reading and stuff, but it bothers me a lot that at the end of the day, those things aren't going to make the world a better place or help my reputation much.
Then I start to worry that I think about these things too much for my own good, and no one should worry about everything because that's what causes stress and heart attacks.. and see, it's a downward spiral. The best thing, I guess, is to just live a life of moderation, where you do good and help those around you that need to be helped, but not overdoing it.. because if you help too many people, somehow that's going to be hurting someone else.
My worst fear is not knowing things that should be known, or that would be a great addition to my knowledge bank, but that I just never came across learning.
But when I figure it out, you'll be the first to know
Do you understand that it's out of these hands of mine?
Despite our plans, I've got to draw the line
Stroke 9 - California
Wow these words describe my life right now.. it's like what I'm always saying to my parents.
I spent most of the day sorting the many hundreds of coins that have been sitting on the desk here into bags.. I can't stand messes anymore. I have seriously developed an OCD. I find myself dropping anything I'm doing to straighten things, put things back where they should be or just sorting them, like these coins. It started that I was just going to move the laptop a bit, and then I saw them and blacked out for 30 mins and the next thing I knew was they were all nice and neatly put into separate bags and the table was clean.
How boring does a life have to be that things like this become a habit? I spent 30 mins sorting coins without even thinking about it.. I could have spent those 30 minutes doing something constructive.. helping somebody, volunteering, walking around outside, gardening.. I feel like I'm trapped. I can't do things that I want to.. that would help the rest of the world or my family or whatever, because well.. I just can't. I don't have money, I'm not in school right now, and I'm not allowed to work in this country. And I do really want to work.. but I can't do the jobs I want without a degree, which is still going to take a year or two to complete. It REALLY sucks. These feel like wasted years of my life, which is incredibly depressing. I also don't want to start to believe that I need to be in school or working to have a fulfilling life.. I mean, I enjoy just relaxing and being safe at home, doing things I like to like reading and stuff, but it bothers me a lot that at the end of the day, those things aren't going to make the world a better place or help my reputation much.
Then I start to worry that I think about these things too much for my own good, and no one should worry about everything because that's what causes stress and heart attacks.. and see, it's a downward spiral. The best thing, I guess, is to just live a life of moderation, where you do good and help those around you that need to be helped, but not overdoing it.. because if you help too many people, somehow that's going to be hurting someone else.
My worst fear is not knowing things that should be known, or that would be a great addition to my knowledge bank, but that I just never came across learning.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
first post
I decided to create a blog because I have a lot of thoughts during the day I don't like to keep inside me. Sometimes I'm convinced I'm a genius, other times I believe I'm a complete moron who will be forgotten as time rolls on.
Who knows. I'm not dead yet, so I will continue thinking, breathing, loving and learning.
Who knows. I'm not dead yet, so I will continue thinking, breathing, loving and learning.
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