Love my rook. It's healing wonderfully.

I absolutely must keep reminding myself on a daily basis to just take it easy, nice and slow, not to worry about the future. I am so stressed out about this final semester of mine. As soon as I start imagining the work I'll have to do for my classes, I start to panic and feel like I need to get it all done right now before it's all late.
I should talk to a counselor about this problem. I just need to tough it out, relax and take things as they come. I can't possibly screw up unless I really just don't come to class and don't do anything. My professors are so great and have constructed the semesters so practically that I really shouldn't feel stressed out at all. We see everything coming and will have plenty of time to think things out. I guess I'm just inexperienced when it comes to doing a lot of work outside the classroom, which is what a lot of my work is going to involve. It's going to feel SO good to graduate >>

I am at this moment somewhere between a panic attack, anxiety attack and a tantrum.
http://omgposters.com/2010/01/29/aaron-horkeys-isis-baroness-tour-poster/

I MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST HAVE THEM. OH MY GOD I AM DYING INSIDE.

All I want to eat for the rest of my life is Quaker Oat Squares, Cinnamon Oatmeal and fruit. So delicious.

My work-out routine confuses me. I fit it all in: aerobics 3/4 days per week, abs, weight training, lunges, plus I eat very healthily. I basically live off of fruit, oatmeal, yogurt and sometimes fruit and forms of fresh protein. However, I'm not losing weight. Well, I might have lost a pound. It's not that I want to lose a ton of weight.. my goal was to tone, and I can see that I have. My love-handles have shrunk significantly, jeans fit more nicely etc.. but I thought I might at least lose 3-5 pounds in the past two weeks. I really don't want to lose a lot of weight, like I said, and I can even understand my weight being stable if my muscle mass is increasing.. but meh, I guess it would just be nice to see the scale go down a little bit. Probably every girl thinks that, even though weight is no indicator of health. At the end of the day, I feel AMAZING. I'm so glad I have taken care of my body so well over the past 2 years, and I fully intend to continue doing so.

Off to bed now.

So this is what a college major should be like.
I am in Journalism boot camp. It's all I'm living and breathing. I don't think I like it but in some sick way, it feels really really good to hone an expertise. Especially this.. because I feel it's very important to learn what I'm learning. I'm really grateful to be in college.
Last day of my first week now!

Day one of school: stiff neck.
Day two: a bit less-stiff neck but sore, and didn't sleep a wink.
What else wants to go wrong this week? I'm really frustrated. I seriously didn't sleep a wink all night. I absolutely freaking HATE this feeling. I really need to do well and be able to concentrate. I think I'm probably working out too close to my bedtime.. but I only feel motivated to work out at night because that's when I have the most free time. Uggg.. now I have to drink lots of coffee and feel sick all day.

First class of my last semester done! I'm really excited about this one. We'll be learning to blog (on a more professional level), make websites, market stories we write and all that. VERY useful stuff with the way the internet is taking over the world. I'm so glad my school kicks ass at this sort of thing. They've got such great technology to learn on too.. best computer labs in the city.

I woke up this morning with a stiff neck from hell. It wasn't as bad as one I had about a year ago.. I couldn't even get out of bed for that morning, but I managed to get through the day without having to turn my head. Sweet Hiral helped me cross the street and put my books away haha. It's so nice to have so many classes with the same people. I feel almost sad that my college is coming to an end. My life has changed 1000% since I graduated high school. I'm still me, but I'm so grateful for the people who have helped me, loved me, hated me, screwed me over, criticized me and had faith in me.. they've made me a happier person with stronger, wiser beliefs.

Still have no idea about that ballet class. I'm kind of glad of it.. I really don't want to be dancing around when I can barely move my left arm and my neck is paralyzed.
Early to bedddddddd!

What a weekend. Wait, it's barely begun! I stayed the night with Daz last night.. we made brownies (which I couldn't take pictures of because my camera decided to stay home), drank delicious champagne and played Little Big Planet for about 4 hours straight haha. Great game. It's a little too competitive.. I hate competition because it takes away the teamwork aspect and it makes everyone try to sneak around to get extra points and not help one another. Because in the end the point is to get all of the stickers and items, and we can't do that if we're just racing each other to get as many points as possible. It's really annoying. But either way we had a good time.

I can't believe school is starting on Monday. I can't enjoy the fact that it's my last semester.. I just feel like it's going to be really difficult for some reason. Maybe I just care more than usual. It would be so great to get straight A's. My stupid ballet class' days/times STILL aren't posted.. no idea if I'm even going to end up taking the damn thing. Blech.

Wondering if I should wait a bit longer to eat lunch. I'm really trying to slim down a bit. I can see that I have too, which feels great.. but I don't want to slack off and then get nowhere like I've been doing for the past few weeks. But it would be nice to go see Lars and feel more confident in lingerie or something. Ah well. We'll see how it goes.

I really should clean my room up.

1-22-10

Haven't blogged in a while. My life has been so crazy the past few weeks. Good and bad. Mostly good. I finished my one week photography course. Still dunno what grade I got but I feel I worked for an A, so we'll see how that goes. Couldn't hurt my GPA!
Got my rook piercing, which is amazingly hot. I'm so glad I finally just decided to get it. I put it off for way too long. It itches like hell though, which is awful because I don't want to touch it and spread germs around. Ah well, I got through it with my bellybutton so this should be ok.
I have total renewed motivation to work out, so I feel really energetic lately and overall more focused and alert. I love working out so much, I always hate knowing that I should be doing it more often than I do, so it's good stuff.
So excited for the new SNSD song coming out, called Oh! I freaking love them so much. They have so many haters but every famous person does, so meh. Love them anyway ^^
I'm gonna try and enjoy the rest of my 3 days before my final semester of college everrrrrrrrrrrrr. Can't believe it. I love Roosevelt so much. This school has shown me what learning and opening your world is all about. ISU taught me a lot and there were some classes that I took that were just so fascinating and totally fed my interest in geography and what goes on around the world, but I was just so miserable there. It makes me sad because I could have succeeded if things outside of school were different, but I just needed to get my head on straight. And being in the city is nice.
Time to start my day!