I want my ISIS poster.

I bought a PS2 and am waiting for it to be delivered. I also bought 5 games for it that are supposed to be great. Well actually I already played one of them and another is a sequel to a game that I absolutely love so I'm sure it will be fun. I can't wait to play Xenosaga.. the storyline sounds so amazing and it's really open-ended or something so I really just can't wait to play it.
Games on my wishlist:
the .Hack series

I guess that's about it for now actually. I've got a LOT of gaming to do in the meantime. Unfortunately the system won't be shipped till.. oh, Monday? LAME. I haven't been able to play games in so long because my computer doesn't run any new ones, and I played all the ones I already have so much and for so long I basically have them memorized word for word, scene for scene. So this will be a good change. Also it will take up a lot of spare time I'm plagued with.

I'm still sick but it's less crappy. I still feel really weak and drained. I have no idea what kind of sickness this is either. Usually I'm just bursting with energy but it's almost impossible to even stand for more than a few minutes without feeling light-headed and like I'm going to faint. It's really really lamesauce.

Well I'm going to go read some crap.. I probably had some homework. Meh.

Something in me really wants to become a carpenter. Building things out of wood has always been fun and gives me a sense of accomplishment. It's becoming a lost skill.. most jobs these days just want people to sit in front of a computer, dulling us down mentally and physically. I've always wanted to learn a real vocational skill.
Maybe I'll take a class and learn how to build chairs and cabinets. It might even be fun to help build a house. That's how people lived and worked and survived for millenia before capitalism took over and people started wanting brain-dead drones to sit at a desk for 8 hours a day. Society is losing its ability to build its own things, fix its own utilities and provide its own furnishings.

Yes. I will look into this. I'd probably have an easier time finding a job hammering stuff together than anything in the Journalism field anyway.

Uggggg why do I feel so HORRIBLE??? I'm trying to rest, eat lots of grapefruit and soup and do all the mythical get-better-quick schemes and none of it's working. I have absolutely no physical strength, I'm full of body aches and my head is constantly swimming. When I have to drive anywhere I feel like turning the wheel takes every ounce of strength in me. And on top of it I missed my long day at school, which REALLY bothers me because I shouldn't be missing any.

I just want to sleep all weekend. I think I'll do that. That sounds nice. Good night world.

Sick, getting sicker, and very very tired. If I don't eat I feel nauseous, if I eat I feel nauseous, if I sleep I wake up and when I'm awake all I want to do is sleep. Misery has found me.

I feel so... passionate lately.
About my beliefs, in class, in making myself better. But I feel like Lars is getting further and further away. I barely talked to him in the past two weeks.. He's always got something else to do. I feel angry at him and sad at the same time. But I really love school and my life in general right now. That's how I know I don't need a man to make me happy. I have myself, and other people may come and go but I'll always know who I am.

I have no idea what the future will bring, but I want to be in it.

If anybody ends up hurting me, I won't be too upset because I will know they weren't meant to be in my life. The good ones stay.

Love my rook. It's healing wonderfully.

I absolutely must keep reminding myself on a daily basis to just take it easy, nice and slow, not to worry about the future. I am so stressed out about this final semester of mine. As soon as I start imagining the work I'll have to do for my classes, I start to panic and feel like I need to get it all done right now before it's all late.
I should talk to a counselor about this problem. I just need to tough it out, relax and take things as they come. I can't possibly screw up unless I really just don't come to class and don't do anything. My professors are so great and have constructed the semesters so practically that I really shouldn't feel stressed out at all. We see everything coming and will have plenty of time to think things out. I guess I'm just inexperienced when it comes to doing a lot of work outside the classroom, which is what a lot of my work is going to involve. It's going to feel SO good to graduate >>

I am at this moment somewhere between a panic attack, anxiety attack and a tantrum.
http://omgposters.com/2010/01/29/aaron-horkeys-isis-baroness-tour-poster/

I MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST HAVE THEM. OH MY GOD I AM DYING INSIDE.