I'm working for a guy who takes out his frustration on his employees.  It sucks.  I got yelled at for 20 mins today for something I didn't do wrong.  And when I could finally get a word in to explain what I did and why, he already realized I was right and just laughed it off as if it wasn't a big deal he not only belittled me for his own sense of boss-dom, but he also indirectly threatened to fire me, because he thought I put a few items in the wrong place in the back of the store.  Like, within 5 feet of where he thought they should have gone.  But I was right the first time.  What a freaking dbag.
And then he took another 10 mins explaining to me that he can't communicate with me because I try to "challenge his ways" or something completely retarded, and he only sees things in black and white, and I should too.  Well, I don't.  And I can't just give him yes and no answers, especially when the answer requires an explanation.  Such as "I put those items in that pile because they're NEW, and can't be put on the shelves yet."  That can't be said with a yes or a no, if he's just ranting at me me "You didn't listen to where I said to put things".  I feel seriously pissed off at him right now.  He comes to work all pissed off and stressed out, and so he picks on one little thing I did "wrong" (which I didn't really, he was just confused).  I've never had to work with somebody with such a crooked stick up their ass before.

I'm not a pessimistic person.  Really.  I'm more positive and forward-thinking than most people I know.  But I really believe somebody has put a curse on my family.  Things have just gotten worse and worse (as in, now some people's lives are at risk) up until this point, and who knows what is going to happen next.  I can't do anything for myself because everything else is up in the air.  This is just.. bad.  I don't know what to think anymore.  I'm kind of numb to bad news.
I should channel this into something creative before it turns into rage and I end up doing something I regret because I've been burying all my fears for too long or some crap.  But I'm pretty level-headed, so I think I'll get out of this ok.  What I cannot stand, or bear to watch, is my dad suffering.  I can't even leave his side right now.  I wish I could go to work with him just so I could protect him.  I haven't gone out with my friends in over a week now just because I feel the need to be home with him in all of my spare time.
Things will change after this current ordeal.  Still haven't gotten any payment on my medical claim from the car accident.  Talk about slackers, liars and cheats = Horace Mann insurance.


I did, however, get my bachelor's degree.  It's sitting on my shelf collecting dust while I'm working part time and applying for countless jobs.  I don't even remember what jobs I have applied for anymore.  It's just become a mindless task.. filling out online applications, uploading my resume, answering some survey questions.  I'm a pro at this by now.  Too bad there are no jobs for filling out job applications.  Or are there?  *lightbulb*

Oh well.

My life is like I'm standing in an open meadow.  There are no other people.  I hear birds.  The weather is lovely and the sun is shining.  But I've got a cut that I need to care for and there are no supplies.

I have been feeling so tired all day.  Dazzle stayed the night which was nice.  I talked to Troy for about 10 mins then had to leave..  I hate missing him..  but I feel resentment towards him anyway so.. meh.

Got new glasses/prescriptions today as well.  Well, the glasses will be made by the end of the week.. but yeah.. my eyes just keep getting worse.

I need to keep applying for jobs and see what happens.

Huge snow storm tomorrow.  I'm  not looking forward to driving in it at all.  If it's really bad I'm going to call Mik and tell him I can't make it in.  Blah.

I'm just another 20-something woman who can't find a job, with my Bachelor's degree and little work experience.

I feel so depressed, hopeless and discouraged.  It's awful.  Nobody wants people like me in the work field.  It's the worst feeling ever.

I thought I would be so much more relieved after I graduated.  I feel only worse, more abandoned and completely obsolete.  Almost suicidal.  I don't know what to do with myself at all.

I feel no Christmas spirit at all.

In fact, I forgot it was Christmas.

Some guy crashed into me, totaled my car that I only bought a month ago.
I hate my job.  My boss is a dirty, old, racist, sexist man who completely misled me into this position.  I don't do any of the things I was told I would be doing (I have even been relocated from a 25 min drive to over an hour away.. one direction.. that's a lot of gas), and I am doing a bunch of things that my boss simply doesn't feel like doing.  He's the CEO so he apparently feels he can degrade and take advantage of his employees on a daily basis.
I don't have a problem with authority.. in fact I prefer working for/with people who have more experience, who I can look up to, so that I can learn from their experience and expertise.. but this guy doesn't even do anything.  He just pays everybody else to do it for him, and then treats them like crap in the process.
I need to get out of this rut..  I'm kind of back to square one, but whatever.. I made some pretty good money in the past month and I'm driving a really nice rental car in the meantime.  They can take as long as they want (it's already been 2 weeks since the crash and they haven't even come up with a number yet) because the insurance company is paying for it.

I really... REALLY... am tired of living in Chicago.

It's disappointing when somebody has such an awesome voice, but they're damn ugly.