Still haven't found my ipod. But best weekend ever. I'll post longer about it later.

Suchhhhh a long day. Spent all afternoon downtown, buying books, getting CTA bus pass (my picture turned out good, not like a mugshot for once). I did make a friend tho! Her name is Melissa, and we immediately connected because we both love to talk and get to know people around us and don't feel uncomfortable blabbing out our first thoughts. She was hilarious.. when she got her picture taken in front of me, the lady with the camera was like 'oo you have such a perfect smile!' and she was like 'Pff.. I better have one, I paid enough money for it' HAHAHA. So cute. So anyway we walked down Jackson to State just talking about random things, and it was really really awesome to feel like I already made a friend after being there for only 30 mins. We got each other's numbers, and she said she loves Japanese food (w00t), so hopefully we will be able to get together and hang out.
So yeah, overall it was a good day. Oh and I also got my contacts finally!! It feels so great to not have my glasses sitting on my nose again. And now I can wear my sunglasses <333333>
I'm so freaking thirsty.
Working out without music SUCKS, but I started reading my 5th Anne Rice novel.. the Witching Hour. My sister said it's one of her favorite books ever, and I'm about 105 pages in and it's really good so far.. I can feel it slowly building to some incredible story that will make me never forget it. Before this, I think the Queen of the Damned was my favorite Rice novel. Let's see how this one is. If I ever finish it.. its easily over 1000 pages.. I'll check it later. But anyway, the point is, I really want a Zune mp3 player. They look lovely, and my dad is giving me $40 for the drawing I'm doing for him, so I think I can put $60 on my credit card without it doing too much damage. I like the red color. We'll see though. I'll give my iPod until this weekend to turn up. Otherwise I'm just going to assume I got pickpocketed or I dropped it somewhere in public, in which case I will never see it again. That sucks, but I didn't pay for it anyway.. so I'm not too upset over the loss.
Alright, bed time.

WHERE THE EFF IS MY IPOD?!??!??

Obama's speech was amazing. He said everything that needed to be said, and made every word count. I was crying like a baby, needless to say.
So I went over to Macy's and got free mascara!! It's really nice. I'll be using it later today most likely. I'm thinking I'll go to the mall later again and get something else.. maybe that shower gel or something. Anyway, it should be nice. Here's a picture, and some of when I had done my makeup really prettily ^^

Apparently Macy's and Nordstrom and some other places are giving away free stuff today. It's not much.. just some skin creams and crappy shower gels, but hey, if it's free, why not? I'll be at the mall at 10.
Back to sleep now >>

Last Monday of Break

Wuhuuuu. I went to the mall with Dazzle today. It was good times. I bought a really cute, warm sweater for like $8. I love end of the season sales <3
Came home, worked out and here I am now. I can't not work out anymore. I didn't yesterday, because we spent so long at my sister's place, and then we ate a huge dinner so when I came home I could barely move.
Everybody went back to school today practically. Luckily I still have 2 of my 3 favorites, Maria and Dazzle, and Elaine too, but we don't see her much since she's still in high school. Meh.
I just hope I'm so busy starting next week that I won't miss anyone too much.

I love Lars sooo much. He is so sweet and cute it hurts me sometimes. I just wish he could be here so we could lie down and snuggle for a bit and then he can go home. I just feel normal and complete when he's next to me. I think we were married in a past life or something. It feels that right.

Ok, gotta do some stuff before my parents get home so I can leave right away.

OH! also while we were at the mall, I found this purse I wanted to buy a few weeks ago.. it was $18 so I didn't get it, but today I found it for $4.. w00t! smart shopping ftw.

Today is good. I slept well (even though I was having a hard time falling asleep last night), we're going to my sister's new place today and from there I'm supposed to go see Dazzle, but now we're planning on going out to dinner so I might get home too late. Also I get tired so early so I don't know if I want to be up all night. I feel so good lately. My hip bothers me now and then, but I have totally gotten into the habit of working out every single day, and I feel so healthy and I am feeling very sexy, hrhr. I can definitely see some toning has happened, which is how I always feel it SHOULD be. I hate feeling lazy and like I'm not taking care of myself.
In other news, I'm insanely thirsty so I will go get some water and be off to the sister's.

So Woodfield with Michelle today. It was excellent, as things usually are with Michelle. I'm gonna miss her a lot. It's so sad to say goodbye to her always. Anyway, we went to H&M, which is a Swedish store.. and there were two Swedish girls walking around inside. My heart broke. I was so jealous.. I want to just sit around and have conversations in Swedish >< I wish I could learn and let Lars relax so I could do my half of the work at speaking a 2nd language. Not that he struggles with English at all, but it would be nice to share the responsibility. It's hard not to cry at least once a day, thinking about how much I miss him. The feeling of his hand in mine, hearing his laugh during casual conversations, the scent on his skin, giving each other little kisses whenever.. those things are just like, home. And I am very very homesick. My eyes will water and then I just have to think about how great it will be to start school, see a friend, work out or whatever it is I can do to pass the time.
I'm tired.. think I'm gonna get to bed now.

Ear is totally healed. Sea salt works miracles man.. I'm highly impressed, and thankful. Also our furnace is fixed and it's nice and toasty in here finally. Well, maybe not 'nice' because I'm starting to sweat.. but it is warm, and I would MUCH rather be warm than cold.

Today's gonna be busy.

Yayyyyyy the furnace is fixed ^^ It's not 56 degrees in our house anymore. Which means I can go in the basement and work out =) Good day so far. And it's only 2!

Stuff

I bought these three products over the weekend. Neutrogena concealer, TreSemme curly hair gel stuff and L'oreal skin bronzing lotion. I was highly skeptical of the three, because nothing seems to work right when I buy them, but they all surpassed my expectations. The concealer wasn't too dark or too light (I always have trouble matching my skin tone), and it looks so natural, you can't even tell I'm wearing makeup. The hair gel was perfect.. it didn't make my hair hard, and it did hold my curls for several hours after I used the curling iron. Incredible.. my hair always seems to fall flat within 20 mins, even with hairspray. And the tanning lotion was a total impulse buy. I've been using it for the past 3 days, and my skin has a lovely, VERY real-looking tan, with absolutely no streaking or anything that would give it away that it wasn't real. Safe for your skin, looks good AND it works.. good stuff man.
Anyway, there's some pictures of the stuff and my lovely hair. No makeup.

What beautiful dolls. If only a complexion like this were achievable =P The person making these is brilliant. They cost about $600 a pop, but I'd love to have one. They're works of art. I really like the lilac eyes.

http://musedoll.com/index.php

The sea salt is already helping my ear, thank God. That stuff works miracles.

It is so ridiculously cold outside.. I am thinking about locking myself in my room tonight and not leaving. I just need some warm soup and stuff.
I am feeling very much like not working out today, mostly because the exercise equipment is in the basement, and it's about 50 degrees down there. Maybe I'll just eat a small dinner and then do some crunches. Sighhh...

Lars will be here in mid-Feb, and then I'm going to stay with him over Spring break.. in Amsterdam. Um.. I can't wait? I am more excited to go to Amsterdam than I was to go to Dublin. Amsterdam is such an amazing city, and it's CLEAN. With healthy, beautiful people, and so much history. Ireland is crap compared to it. Thinking of all this traveling is making me realize how bad I miss Sweden. It was just so gorgeous and perfect. I'd give anything to be fluent in Swedish so I could just use my passport visa and stay there for the next 2 years.

Ok, things to do, parents to pick up.

I am pretty much positive that my left ear piercing (I got them pierced on my birthday last year) is infected. The right one is fine by now, but the left one has constantly caused me pain, and I noticed today that it was bleeding. When I took out the stud to look at it, it started gushing blood and pus and it was pretty gross. It still hurts, so I'm going to try the sea-salt soaks. Sea-salt saved my belly-button when it got infected in '07, so hopefully I won't lose this piercing, since I really really love them.

Heading out!

I am soooo sick of driving. If I have to run a single more errand today I will dig a hole and bury the car in it.

Green apples <3

I managed to fall asleep pretty easily last night.. not until about 2 am (because my parents were up so late), and then sleep pretty soundly, but then I got woken up at 6.30 to take my dad to a doctor's appointment. I don't know if I should try and get a bit more sleep or not, because if I sleep 3 or 4 more hours I won't be able to sleep again tonight. Regulating a sleep schedule is a LOT of work and exhaustion, but you need to be merciless or you'll never get it. I'm just so tired of sleeping till 11 or noon. I'm not 16 anymore, and I'm going to have a TON of stuff to do in the morning from now on, so I can't be attending class half asleep because I didn't get to bed until 2 am.
Maybe I'll just rest for an hour.

I am so frustrated at myself. I find it so easy to make myself work out almost every day now, and I do it for about 30 mins aerobic, plus I lift weights for some strength training, but I still haven't really curbed my eating habits. I usually don't eat a lot of one thing, but when I think that I want something, I always just go get it. Even if I don't finish it, I still see that it's bad, and it's making it very difficult to actually lose weight. I've toned up a lot but I want to get slimmer. I just need to make myself say no when I think I want something.

Ok back to sleep just for a little bit now.

Last night was pretty awful. However, today was good. I'm really glad I've gotten the strength and motivation built-in to actually work out when I'm stressed or upset. It really does make me feel 100% better. If I'm angry or sad or missing someone, I just go work it out and it reminds me that all I need to worry about is my own happiness, and that other people can kiss my sexy, sweaty ass.

I love artichoke hearts. I've begun to get over my taste aversion to mushrooms, and I usually end up eating them favorably. Still can't get past onions though. I would obliterate them from the planet if I had the power.

What to do with my night now... I will go do some laundry and then play it by ear.

Bad nights beget bad dreams

I visited my grandpa in the hospital today. He blacked out and was unconscious 3 days ago, and they realized that he had a lung infection that was inhibiting his intake of oxygen. Some antibiotics fixed him up tho and he should be going home tomorrow. Poor guy. It was great to see him doing well. When you get a phone call that your 80 year old grandfather, with lung cancer, was found unconscious and unresponsive, you tend to panic and think the worst. Thanks to peoples' prayers and great doctors/nurses, he's doing well again.

Kate Winslet won the first award tonight at the Golden Globes. I didn't see whatever movie it was she won for but she's a great actress and should win regardless.
I've felt very full all day. I will eat a tiny bit and feel like my stomach is going to burst. It's very uncomfortable.

I'm going to bed soon.

I am up. It is early. I will NOT take a nap. I need a regular sleep schedule, and I will get it if it kills me. There's not much to eat here. I have to get hot rollers and hair gel today. I curled my hair the other day and it looked sooo beautiful but it wasn't enough. My hair never holds a curl, so I want some gel or cream that will hold it all day if I curl it. A curling iron takes like 30 mins to do the job, so hot rollers will do.
I missed Anthony Bourdain going to Sweden on the 9th. I waited a week for it, even wrote it down in my planner, and then completely forgot about it when the time came. Sighhh. Good thing they play reruns like 39/7.

waiting

I need to move out. I am too old for this crap still. I don't know how it happens, but as soon as I get within 20 feet of my parents I get so defensive and cranky and I can't stand them or myself. My mom and I have such different personality types, and they really conflict and contrast and do not mesh well. Also she is always depressed. For like, the past 10 years, she's constantly been depressed about something, and I have no sympathy for people who choose to wallow in pity, so that leaves me with even less patience. It's horrible, because she's staying so strong after so much crap has happened to her, but I just feel like she needs to look to the future and see good in her life instead of forever dwelling on things she feels should have been different.

School is starting in a few weeks, and I can't wait to start going. I want to meet new people, make more friends, get some work done.. the sense of accomplishment you get from school is like none other. I just hope I have the self control not to throw it away this time. I'm getting tired of everyone around me being so childish and selfish, so I'm hoping I'll end up meeting some people with a positive attitude and outlook, that won't be 2-faced and toss me to the side when they find something else to play with. That last statement might have been filled with some grudginess. The point is, I just want to get some work done. Note to self: email that woman about working for the school newspaper. I'd love to get that kind of exposure and experience. Also, I have to find out soon what books I'm going to need, etc.

I'm so bored right now. In general. Nothing is happening, no Lars to keep me feeling fulfilled daily, I weeded out pretty much all but 4 of my friends, I've got no car or job (not that I haven't been trying desperately to get one) and I can't really do anything without ideas. I feel like I'm wasting these days away.. which is always a horrible feeling, but really, I just can't think of anything to do with my limitations. I go for walks, exercise, listen to good music, relax, sleep.. which is great but it's so dumb. I can't even continue reading the Twilight series (which really isn't very good.. I just don't want to stop in the middle) because the third book isn't out in paperback, and I'm not spending $25 on a hardcover.

Maybe something new will happen. Lars starts his new job Monday, and I'm sooo happy for him, but I also kind of feel like it's taking us one step further away from each other. Also I am terrified of him flying on a plane so often, back and forth to Amsterdam every weekend. We'll see anyway. He is still everything I could ever ask for.. except the one big one. How can two people who are perfect for each other live so far away? Does that negate the whole idea of being perfect together? Because we might be perfect... but we're not together. It's very very hard. I miss him so much but I think I'm being good and strong about it all. Just a bit longer, is all I can tell myself, over and over. It's worth it in the end, helps too.